Happy International Women's Day! Few Questions, few answers...

Sunday, March 09, 2014 , , , , , , , , , 0 Comments

International Women's day to me is like Independence day or Republic day, that should be celebrated and would serve as a yardstick, to measure, how women had evolved all through these years.

It has been absorbed since early 1900s.  Through the years, women faced oppression, inequality and wanted change. In 1910 Clara Zetkin, who lead the 'Women's Office' for the Social Democratic Party in Germany, came up with this idea of International Women's day.  It was decided, every year throughout the world, there should be a celebration for Women's day.  

We have come a long way and the younger generation feel that the battles against women upliftment has been won, but while the feminists feels that there are areas where women face a hit, be it being paid lesser than men, still not equal numbers in business or politics and globally violence against women has not subsided.  By celebrating Women's day and conducting healthy debates, brings about the negatives to light and also a celebration of positives.

My way of celebrating, I sent few questions to my friends, to understand their style of life, their views, their expectations, their love, their dislikes, their strength, their weakness in short, what makes them what they are today and how they enjoy their day to day life, enrich the lives of their dear ones and the difficulties they face and how they overcome those difficulties. I let my friends to talk about them and I loved hearing them and am sure so you would.  Mailed some 6 friends the questionnaires.  
Stacy Lowe, was the first to reply.  We got acquainted through an online scrabble game called words with friends.  It brings about a smile on my face, whenever Nurse Pepperika names throws up in the latest move.  That's a strange name, I've ever heard.  She chatted through the chat window one day, asking me are you a man or woman?  I told her I am a 42 year old woman from India, a smiley to soften the blow, incase if it is a guy who wanted to chat with a young girl.  But, she said her name is Stacy Lowe and a woman who is 42 too. Immediately we started to chat about family, kids and at the end of the 30 minutes conversation, we became friends in FB.   I would like to thank her for her time and appreciate the patience, in answering my questions without any hesitation.  She asked me to answer the same questions for her, so adding mine too as a bonus.. Ahem ahem! yeah! blowing my own trumpet!

From Stacy Lowe:

1. 5 facts about you:

1.    I like to read and do all types of puzzles
2.    I like to listen to live music and love going to concerts. 
3.    I color my hair.  I have no idea what my real color is.  Reddish brown, I think.
4.    I love going to zoos.  I can spend all day looking at animals.
5.    Mexican food with margaritas is my favorite.

2. Where do you live?  What is so special about this place? What you dislike about this place and you believe the situation can change and any ideas to bring about the change?

I live in Hot Springs, Arkansas, United States.  Its official name is Hot Springs National Park.  It was the first ever National Park in the US.  It is the only National Park that is an entire city.  It is famous for hot springs that come up from the ground.  The water is said to have therapeutic and healing properties.  People come from all over to bathe in the water.  It is also good to drink when it cools.  The only bad thing about this town is that it is a retirement town, and the  majority of the population is over 65.  I am young and single, so this is hard!  

3.  Your favourite time of your day and why?

I love the morning time.  I like to watch things wake up and come alive.  It is the time of day I have the most energy.

4.  Your preferred genre in music?

I am a rock and roll chic all the way!

5. The profession you are in and your wishful profession or same?  If yes, the happiness and challenges in your profession.

Right now I am a CNA (certified Nursing Assistant).  In May I will be a Registered Nurse.  I have always loved helping people, and believe nursing is my true calling.  Life just got in the way, so it has taken me some time to get there.  But I never gave up!

6.  Mom's unconditional love is universal.  Can you explore what as a mom you do and as a mom your mother did for you.. are there changes? 

My mother....she left us when I was 13 and my sister was 4.  She moved to Canada,  We only saw her every couple of years.  She missed all important things in our lives.  She moved here 7 years ago wanting to be mom again.  It is too late.  She doesnt realize that she is doing the same thing to the daughter she left behind in Canada that she hasnt seen in 7 years.  No one is important to her but her.  As far as my kids go, not a day goes by that I dont tell them that I love them and how important they are to me. They have always came first in my life.  My oldest son is my best friend.  

7.  When you look at the mirror and look at yourself, do you smile at yourself and pat your back about the way you turned out or are there any misgivings?  

 For the most part, when I look in the mirror I smile.  The older I get the easier it is to do.  I dont have regrets, I have learning lessons.  I have learned alot along the way, and everything has helped me grow.  

8.  The places you travelled and the immediate things that comes to your mind, when you think of that place.  Can you list it out for me?

I have been to Germany, Switzerland, Canada, Hawaii, and several states here in the US.  Washington State is my favorite.  It was amazing to wake up every morning and see Mt. Rainier.  I love walking trails, and with all the rain, the woods there have a tropical feel to them.  Its just beautiful.  It was only a 2 hour drive to the ocean.  The water was always cold, but relaxing just the same.  I would move back there if I could.  Hawaii was wonderful, too.  Nothing relaxes me like sitting on the beach listening to the waves hit the sand.  The only bad thing about Hawaii is that there is no seasons.  I got tired of wearing shorts and sandals all the time.  

9.  The place you would love to visit and so far not visited.

I would love to visit everywhere!  I love to travel, and want to see the world.  I want to see where you live!  I want to see the Great Wall of China, bike around the bike trail that goes around the North Sea and goes through 7 countries, and go to Australia.  

10. Ever had an adventure?  It need not be rock climbing or free fall.  An exciting experience, where your adrenaline raced, it can be a roller coaster ride or a swim in an ocean or racing your car on highways.

an adventure...While in Hawaii we swam with endangered sea turtles. It was amazing.   It only happened once in the two years that we lived there.  It was so great that I have a tattoo of a sea turtle on my back. I interrupted Stacy here and told her, " (I interrupted stacy and told her "but can u believe me if i say i dont know to swim? Here we will be frowned up on if we wear a swim suit.") she continued.... another quick fact, I cant swim either.   I am terrified of water that is over my head!  The turtles were in waist deep water

11.  As a child where you a naughty,pranky kid or sweet and considerate.  The most wicked thing you did to your siblings or the nicest?

I would like to think I was a good sweet kid.  I didnt get in trouble much. I was an only child until I was 9.  Because of the age difference, we didnt do much together.  We really did not get to know each other and get close until I moved here in  2003.  

12.  How do you feel when you see your country flag hoisted and the national anthem sung?  

country and flag....Not sure that I feel as great about the US as I used to.   I think that America has gotten too big for its britches, meaning that it thinks it is better than any other country.  I dont feel this way.  However, I am proud to be an American, and love to see the flag.  There is a song called God Bless the USA sung by Lee Greenwood that makes me cry every time I hear it. 

13.  At India, family comes first and very close knitted, that at every turn you breathe on a 2nd or 3rd cousin and at home, all those in-laws cramping your space.  It is very tough but time brings about changes and slowly we are adopting to micro family practices.  But Moms here are very attached to their kids and refuse to give space to them.  The kids stay home even after they get into a job.  Kids who have a job in India are expected to stay with parents and if not they are frowned upon as villains.  What's your take?  Can you share your thoughts on the demands and limitations a mother has over her child?  

Kids and family...at first I thought I would die when my oldest son moved away, but now I realize when he comes home to visit that I could not live with him again.  He is an adult, and has his own way, and we both like our space.  I like the quieter house.  It is rare in the US to see families stay together like in your country.

14. A memory you cherish and that can be shared

a cherished memory...I told you one about the turtles, my best memory with both of my kids.  We also took a vacation to the big island when we were in Hawaii, and everything that could go wrong went wrong, but looking back it was great.  Logan was 2 and Chaz was 12.  Logan got sick and we had to go to the emergency room at the hospital, I ran the rental car into a huge rock, we got stuck a mile from the car in a sudden rainstorm, there was a bomb threat at our hotel...it was awful and wonderful all at the same time.  

15. A farewell that brought tears to your eyes

farewell....when My oldest son moved away to college

16. A union that made you cry

Every wedding makes me cry.  I think because I have been so unlucky in love, I am jealous and happy at the same time. 

17.  Three things you can't live with out

what can I not live without...Oh my goodness!  off the top of my head, the internet, my phone, and chocolate

18. Creative side of you:

creative side... Im not very creative.  I am watching youtube teaching myself how to crochet.  I have made 2 afghans!!!  

Stole the pic of your Afghan from your FB album :)




19. The song you are hooked on to now and an evergreen song you love to listen

I dont have on particular song that I am hooked on.  I enjoy listening to Katy Perry and Lorde right now.  I love anything by Jack Johnson.  

20. If you have a friend/friends whose FB or google or twitter or whatever social networking status you frequently check and what was that, that held your attention

no idea about this one,sorry!

21. Do you despise things?  Is hatred and despise worth those feelings?

There are things I dislike, but not despise.  Hatred is not worth wasting my energy and time on. 

22.  As a child, what did you enjoy the most?  As a child what your kids enjoy the most?

As a child I loved going to baseball games with my dad.  We had a season pass, so we would sometimes go a few times a week.  I loved our time together, and to this day I still love baseball.  With my oldest, we would go to concerts together, and I would always go watch him and his band play.  That was our time.  Logan and I will spend time at Magic Springs (www.magicsprings.com) and we will ride rides and water slides and watch concerts.  This is our time.  

23.  Your favourite colour

I love bright colors, esp red, orange, and yellow

24.  When you drive, what do you usually observe.? (for Eg:  I have the practice of counting the registration nos of the vehicles that crosses me, I don't know why I count but I try to count all the digits twice, first time in order, second time in the quickest way possible (shortcuts).  I don't have any idea why I do that, but that's become an habit.  Here in India, the reg nos comprises of nos and not much alphabets.) 

Apparently when I drive I am in my own little world, singing with my music.  People tell me all the time that they see me and wave at me and I never notice... I have no idea how, thought, cause I think I see everything!  lol  I like to look at car tags and see who is from out of state and tourists.

25.  There are people who indulge on buying spree or eating spree, when they are depressed.  How do you handle depressing moments of your life?

I suffer from depression, and unfortunately I suffer from both buying and eating.  I usually have no money, so I dont buy much, and when I do, it is almost always for others, not myself.  I stress eat, which is why I am so overweight.  I am on medication, and am trying to get the eating under control.  I am doing much better.  But sometimes when I am really under stress, nothing is better than my favorite food.

The second one to reply is Kiruthika Raj Sri aka Krithi, the youngest friend of mine.  We worked together for the same company, we shared coffee breaks, lunch breaks and whatever breaks possible and our gang always laughed, joked, (good dose of adult jokes) and we rocked.  Nami, Priya I am still waiting for your answers.  

From Krithi:

1. 5 facts about you:


A. I find women's day condescending. Women needn't be celebrated. She needs to be respected. She needs to feel safe. Not abused, raped, harrassed or dominated.
B. Dont like Saree 
C. I am not girly. Hate girly stuff like Rangoli, flowers, chain, pink, stuffed toys etc.
D. Love gadgets.
E. M very competitive. 

2. Where do you live?  What is so special about this place? What you dislike about this place and you believe the situation can change and any ideas to bring about the change?

Coimbatore.  Itz home. The place where u want to come back at the end of the day. The Place is cool but just the attitude of some of the people need to change. Its not 80s still.

3.  Your favourite time of your day and why?

Am a nocturnal creature.  I like the silence. I like being awake when everyone is asleep. That's ny time. I write. Sing. Dance. Hear music. Watch movies. Do all the stuff I like.

4.  Your preferred genre in music?

Definitely no heavy metal or punk! R and B, Soul, Hip hop, Classical,  Pop, Jazz, Rock, Indian.. etc

5. The profession you are in and your wishful profession or same?  If yes, the happiness and challenges in your profession.

I am a software professional. Though many of them take this just as a job. I love wat I do. But its exhausting and unrewarding at times.  That's when u kinda wish u were into a more fun filled job. Happiness is when ur piece of code runs and does wat it is supposed to do. I feel like God. Like the creator! Like its magic. (I know I am weird! !!)

6.  Mom's unconditional love is universal.  Can you explore what as a mom you do and as a mom your mother did for you.. are there changes? 

When i become a mom, I promise to raise my son to respect women. If I have a daughter, she will be treated like a princess and will have enough freedom to pursue her dreams. There will be no lectures, "U r a gal.. u r not supposed to do that". Nothing of that sort.

7.  When you look at the mirror and look at yourself, do you smile at yourself and pat your back about the way you turned out or are there any misgivings?  

I smile at what I see! A big big smile Bcoz I see a woman who has aged gracefully. I see strength. I see wit. I see passion. I see determination. I see beauty. (I ve blown my trumphet too much. Haven't I? ;) )

8.  The places you travelled and the immediate things that comes to your mind, when you think of that place.  Can you list it out for me?

Hyderabad trip. Quality time and fun with my best friend.  A trip that I ll always cherish the most because of all the awesome memories with Anu.

9.  The place you would love to visit and so far not visited.

I wanna travel. To loads of places. From Las Vegas to HImalayayas.  But I have a strange fascination towards, 'New York' and Italy.  Hope to visit them both soon.

 10. Ever had an adventure?  It need not be rock climbing or free fall.  An exciting experience, where your adrenaline raced, it can be a roller coaster ride or a swim in an ocean or racing your car on highways.

  1. Racing a Chevrolet cruise in my Honda Activa. That fast drive n ECR/OMR at night.
  2. That ride n wonderla which I took only bcoz I din want to be called a pussy by my friends. Scared the crap outta me initially. But in the end it was such a adrenaline rush.

11.  As a child where you a naughty,pranky kid or sweet and considerate.  The most wicked thing you did to your siblings or the nicest?

I was at times a naughty prankster and well mostly sweet. I threw a punch and Kavya got a broken nose. And I did it just to instill fear in her heart. I know that's so mean! Nicest thing is I always try to teach her which she hates a lot.  I tried to teach her tamil once and i believe she failed tamil that time ;-)

12.  How do you feel when you see your country flag hoisted and the national anthem sung?  

Proud. At times a drop of tear clings to my eyelash vn (when)  (Krithi, I hate the short texts you young guys use, I should assume you mean 'when' when you say 'vn' :| )  I hear the anthem.

13.  Things that you feel should change in India with regards to joint family.

Well I like my space. Have always been a nuclear family.  I like it like that. U shud ve the freedom to live life the way u want. Nuclear family gives u that opportunity.

14. A memory you cherish and that can be shared

The first time I held her in my arms. ANKITA, my niece. The day she was born. She made me fall in love with her. Hopelessly. Irrevocably. I cried like a baby when I held her for the first time. All happy tears.

15. A farewell that brought tears to your eyes

My last day at aspire.  I was given such an amazing farewell by my frnds. Such love!!

16. A union that made you cry

Union with my niece Anki. Guess it was in 2010, I hadn't been to coimbatore for a long time. I met her after so long. She came running to me. Gave me a hug and a kiss and told me how much she missed me. That moved me to tears.  

17.  Three things you can't live with out

Internet, Mobile, Laptop 

18. Creative side of you:

Creative side - HMMMM. Story telling/Writing??!!! Anything and everything I do will involve my creative side. Else I get bored as hell.

19. The song you are hooked on to now and an evergreen song you love to listen

Hooked on now - Timber & Can't remember to forget you. 
Evergreen song - Pudhu vellai mazhai. Sundari kannal oru seithi.

20. If you have a friend/friends whose FB or google or twitter or whatever social networking status you frequently check and what was that, that held your attention

I check ur posts often. U put some interesting pictures. :-D And couple of other friends for their witty take on current events.

21. Do you despise things?  Is hatred and despise worth those feelings?

Well they are overrated. Such a strong feeling and such a volatile emtoion. Indifference much better!  

22.  As a child, what did you enjoy the most?  As a child what your kids enjoy the most?

Well I enjoy being an adult. I had a very bad childhood.  But I did enjoy watching cartoons. Playing with my cousin Mitun. Visit to my grandma's place to eat the yummy food she made and served with an extra teaspoon of ghee and love. That shud explain my chubbiness.

23.  Your favourite colour

I love vibrant colors. Blue nd Red. Bt my most fav is black and white. (From Viji: :/ no am not editing your shortcuts babe *evil grin*)

24.  When you drive, what do you usually observe.? (for Eg:  I have the practice of counting the registration nos of the vehicles that crosses me, I don't know why I count but I try to count all the digits twice, first time in order, second time in the quickest way possible (shortcuts).  I don't have any idea why I do that, but that's become an habit.  Here in India, the reg nos comprises of nos and not much alphabets.) 

When I am in the signal, I observe ppl around me. And wonder what their story is. My fav signal is the tidel signal. So much to see. I also have the habit of memorising some vehicle number plate. I like chasing and overtaking if there is a guy driving the gaadi. I don't like loosing to boys ;)

25.  There are people who indulge on buying spree or eating spree, when they are depressed.  How do you handle depressing moments of your life?

Well I indulge in a chocolate cake and drown myself in music. If that doesn't work, I sleep. A gud night's sleep which I don't get/prefer taking, cures any fucking depression. (From Viji:  Normally I don't allow all swearing words in my blog, on occasional cases, I do.. What the fuck! )


Vineetha Saira, an acquaintance when we worked together, but became friends through occasional FB chats.  A girl who is beautiful in and out.  A young mother and a lovable woman.  A 5 mts chat with her is so refreshing and cheers up even my darkest day.  A very honest person, talks less, but the few words she say to you are heartfelt and I wish everytime, if only she's India now, I would have met her frequently and hug and kiss the sweetest child of hers.

From Vinee:

1. 5 facts about you:


a)very possessive
b)very short tempered with people whom i am not comfortable with.
c)i value friendship more than family...:)bad character in the eyes of many but its true in my case.may be becox i have such great friends.
d)instead of shouting i ll cry when i get angry...still dont know y..:)
e)i love to be alone

2. Where do you live?  What is so special about this place? What you dislike about this place and you believe the situation can change and any ideas to bring about the change?

Singapore...very peaceful..language...i am here from the past 2+ years but still cant understand this chinese english..dont thing anything can change this :)

3.  Your favourite time of your day and why?

evening: just a cup of tea / coffee...sitting alone with gentle music...during this time i ll sometimes feel that i dont need anything more in this life and i am blessed :)but sad/funny part is ,this feeling/thought will go away in max 1 hr...:)

4.  Your preferred genre in music?

soft music...sometimes (based on my mood) i even like super dappankoothu...:)

5. The profession you are in and your wishful profession or same?  If yes, the happiness and challenges in your profession.

(not answered)

6.  Mom's unconditional love is universal.  Can you explore what as a mom you do and as a mom your mother did for you.. are there changes? 

very early for me to comment on this...but i am sure i can never be like my mom...mom accepted whatever i did in my life (good or bad) with a smile on her face which i am sure i can never do.

7.  When you look at the mirror and look at yourself, do you smile at yourself and pat your back about the way you turned out or are there any misgivings?  

both based on my mood..:)

8.  The places you travelled and the immediate things that comes to your mind, when you think of that place.  Can you list it out for me?

   kerala-wayanad: morning weather
   singapore-shopping
   chennai- my friends
   orissa- food ...omg i couldnt even taste it...may  be bad  selection of food..he he.
   agra - taj mahal..such a beautiful experience.
   jaipur- palaces
   kakkinada- super diwali first time in my life
   Hyderabad-family

   new york- crowd
   las vegas- colorful in all ways :)
   pondicherry - my friend kiran's face when he entered his university

9.  The place you would love to visit and so far not visited.

any remote village 

 10. Ever had an adventure?  It need not be rock climbing or free fall.  An exciting experience, where your adrenaline raced, it can be a roller coaster ride or a swim in an ocean or racing your car on highways.

:( never

11.  As a child where you a naughty,pranky kid or sweet and considerate.  The most wicked thing you did to your siblings or the nicest?

Sweet and considerate....but still did cranky stuff like throwing knife on my brother with the intention to hurt him( just becox i was angry..he he)

12.  How do you feel when you see your country flag hoisted and the national anthem sung?  

frankly saying, nothing....i can never find any meaning in those stuff...instead i feel happy when i heard something good abt our people.

13.  Things that you feel should change in India with regards to joint family.

i just have few questions here...do we still have that concept in india? new generation know abt this?:) 

14. A memory you cherish and that can be shared

i am blessed with wonderful memories.but dont want to share becox i want it to be always mine:)

15. A farewell that brought tears to your eyes

in 2006 when i said bye bye to chennai after college.

16. A union that made you cry

never had such a great blessing

17.  Three things you can't live with out

*oxygen*water*food...all other stuff is just part of our life, may be i am wrong...:)

18. Creative side of you:

Not answered

19. The song you are hooked on to now and an evergreen song you love to listen

i am still hooked on aashiqui 2 songs :)evergreen song :' what a wonderful world' by louis armstrong

20. If you have a friend/friends whose FB or google or twitter or whatever social networking status you frequently check and what was that, that held your attention

yes....most of the time i need to open dictionary to understand the meaning of the status message, y such complicated words in english? he he

21. Do you despise things?  Is hatred and despise worth those feelings?

Not answered

22.  As a child, what did you enjoy the most?  As a child what your kids enjoy the most?

i enjoyed freedom...but too early to comment abt my kid becox he is just 6 months :)

23.  Your favourite colour

Black

24.  When you drive, what do you usually observe.? (for Eg:  I have the practice of counting the registration nos of the vehicles that crosses me, I don't know why I count but I try to count all the digits twice, first time in order, second time in the quickest way possible (shortcuts).  I don't have any idea why I do that, but that's become an habit.  Here in India, the reg nos comprises of nos and not much alphabets.) 

driving and me : no connection

25.  There are people who indulge on buying spree or eating spree, when they are depressed.  How do you handle depressing moments of your life?

just sit idle : thts my solution


From Viji:

I have blown my trumpet enough, so will guide you to a link that will help you to know more about me. Click here! (some SEO business, promoting my blog by giving internal links)

1. 5 facts about you:
  1. Think a lot before acting
  2. Vegetarian, who was a born vegetarian (my family is a vegetarian family) and opted to remain that way.
  3. Tea - totaller, a born tea-totaller but not including my sibling or a parent here and am not sure about my Son either :D
  4. I love children. Their innocence and openness is the most beautiful thing in the world.  
  5. I live in this generation and still believe in Thank You's and Sorry's.

2. Where do you live?  What is so special about this place? What you dislike about this place and you believe the situation can change and any ideas to bring about the change?

Singara Chennai.  The beautiful ugly city.  Where there are miles and miles of glorious beach, just 3 minutes away from my house and enroute garbage littering the roads, street dogs that circles you and you are scared of being bitten by them and the Buckingham Canal stench. But, does that bother me, Yes, it does and No! it doesn't.  I said yes as I want to see a cleaner City.  No because, there are other things so beautiful about my city, I can forgive the filthiness and see the beauty alone.  The people here are most wonderful, friendly and goes out of the way to help people.

3.  Your favourite time of your day and why?

Early Mornings, if I don't sleep long.  They are the best time of the day, to take a long walk by the beach, with scorching sun still under the cloaks of the Bay of Bengal. Stacy, you talked about seasons didn't you. We have only one season and that is sunny.  I wish and crave for rains and it happens probably 10 times in a year if we are really lucky.  And seasons like autumn, winter, spring? Not really...

4.  Your preferred genre in music?

I listen to almost all kind of music, except Rap, I get breathless when I hear them and get palpitations.  I worry about bro eminem, whenever I hear him sing "Rap God". And, it so happens my son is a connoisseur of music and pass on so many genres and there are few I got addicted to. But Raja and A. R. Rahman, my all time favourites.  Bonney M and Beatles and Savage garden are few that are evergreen for me. Adam Lambert, Daniel Bedingfield, Daren Hayes are few, whose songs are in my playlist.

But more than this, I love to record and listen to me playing my keyboard, however off key it sounds,  Fortunately my teacher is patient too and I don't know how long she will be so,

5. The profession you are in and your wishful profession or same?  If yes, the happiness and challenges in your profession.

There is a greedy part in me that wants to do more than one thing and that is not possible.  I like talking to people and that's what I do.  I like it but as you all know, there is a dreamer in me, who wants her own silver boutique, who wants to be a travel photographer, who wants to be a full time artist, and I have even designed how my studio would look.  But, these dreams is going to take some time to come to reality.  If I am keen, I would pursue them immediately but since I opted not to, then may be I am not as keen on the profession and maybe I will keep writing blogposts on this and might never take a step in bringing those dreams to reality. Only time and I should decide and hope I do it before, I choose to shed this life and move on to my other life or whatever waiting for me at the end of this journey.

6.  Mom's unconditional love is universal.  Can you explore what as a mom you do and as a mom your mother did for you.. are there changes? 

My mom. the most inspiring woman, I had ever seen. Very strong and lead the family as a captain would lead a ship.  When it was the time when parents used to be very strict.  My mom was the person who believed in giving space, freedom to talk, she encouraged us, she chided us, with a very meagre family income, she made sure we had everything.  She will be a strong finance ministerial candidate.  Her budget making and allotment was incredible.  She knows where to cut the expense, without us taking a hit. She used to give us little little surprises, that made us feel rich emotionally and financially.  I came to love her move, with her recent fight with cancer. At 72, she is an inspiration and I am happy I have her and dad with me in my home.

As a mom, I am the most practical and don't push or giving a tough time to my child.  I believe in giving the space and independence to a child to think and act on his own.  There are times when this blows right on my face and was blamed for being liberal and spoiling my son.  But, I don't know any other way to be around him.  I quit my job and stayed home to be with my son for 8 years, we were as thick as thieves and slowly he grew up and I understood, he is not going to get any younger and I am not getting any younger too.  We both are like friends, at times we love each other and at time we fight but we both know we are always there for each other.  The most beautiful relationship in this world is between mom and her children.

7.  When you look at the mirror and look at yourself, do you smile at yourself and pat your back about the way you turned out or are there any misgivings?  

Always!

8.  The places you travelled and the immediate things that comes to your mind, when you think of that place.  Can you list it out for me?

Travelled within India.

Always wanted to travel to Mumbai, but got the chance when my brother migrated to Mumbai,  We went to see for the first time, when he was actually struggling, and did he allow us to see his struggle, He pampered us and he made us feel welcome. Even today, I am touched and when I see him as a CEO and feel proud about it still I love to rewind to that day and feel his love for us and his nephew who turned two and we celebrated the occasion in his small apartment at Thane,  I can still see those bats hanging on a tree in his backyard (pity I didn't have my dslr then) and still could smell the non stop monsoon rain.

Kerala, it is paradise on earth and one place may be I would love to visit year after year after year.  The place where I took my first step and where my best friend, Manoj and Yamuna's daughter, Devna was born.  I visited after a month she was born, even now, I can feel the tiny bundle in my arms. She has now turned into a young girl, who skips and dances and tugs at my hands and she holds the reins to my heart. My beautiful model.  

9.  The place you would love to visit and so far not visited.

Within India, I should say I had travelled well. No not really. I would like to visit North East and Himachal and Rajasthan. Other countries I would like to visit:  Scotland, Tibet, Ireland, England, Australia, New Zealand, Japan.  If I am lucky to finish off all this then may be Europe and South America,  The US, I am curious to visit too if time permits. 

 10. Ever had an adventure?  It need not be rock climbing or free fall.  An exciting experience, where your adrenaline raced, it can be a roller coaster ride or a swim in an ocean or racing your car on highways.

Drowned in a 3 feet pond in a theme park (Queensland), and was not able to get up as the tiled floor was slippery, if not for that handsome dad, who grabbed my hair and lifted me, I wouldn't have been writing this post or asking you questions. I had the knack of picking handsome men to rescue me, and the foolish grin given by me, made him move to the farthest corner of the pool.

I got really scared of water after that, but just to face my fear, went on a catamaran ride during my office team outing and a kilometer away from the shore, they dropped us down in the sea with our life jackets on. It was scary, just to imagine the depth of water below us and scared that the water would enter my nose or ears and I will drown. But the life jacket kept me afloat and I lay there holding a rope,  I was remembering Titanic and Leo and no not Kate Winslet.
11.  As a child where you a naughty,pranky kid or sweet and considerate.  The most wicked thing you did to your siblings or the nicest?

Never pranky, but was called a brat, I chose to play only with boys and never liked the company of girls.  I hate playing with dolls, dressing up or down or play the game of teacher,  But, the only toy set I remember I loved was a doctor set. my dad gave me and I love to put injections to everyone and keeping pushing the blunt syringe hard, till they say ouch.

12.  How do you feel when you see your country flag hoisted and the national anthem sung?  

Wherever I am, I stand up during the national anthem, infact I do everyday when I am home,and I hear the national anthem played during the evenings at a neighbouring school and I sing Jana gana mana.  It does something to me everytime I hear the song. I love India and until and unless I am forced, I won't live her for good,  I would love to visit other places but always want to live and die on her soil.

13.  At India, family comes first and very close knitted, that at every turn you breathe on a 2nd or 3rd cousin and at home, all those in-laws cramping your space.  It is very tough but time brings about changes and slowly we are adopting to micro family practices.  But Moms here are very attached to their kids and refuse to give space to them.  The kids stay home even after they get into a job.  Kids who have a job in India are expected to stay with parents and if not they are frowned upon as villains.  What's your take?  Can you share your thoughts on the demands and limitations a mother has over her child?  

The kids need their space and I really need some space.  So, I am just waiting for my son to come and tell me, I am moving out, Yes! I will miss him but both of us take so much space, that it's kind of getting cramped,

14. A memory you cherish and that can be shared

When Anirudh was born after almost a day's struggle.  That moment is ultimate, nothing can beat that moment.  I used to hold him and watch him for hours at a stretch adoring those tiny fingers, nose and those huge eyes and thick lashes and what a lovely boy he was and he is quite handsome today too.  Feel proud and privileged to see him grow.  I wasn't blessed to hold another child, lost too many after Ani and I blot my mind and I am thankful to God for giving Anirudh.

15. A farewell that brought tears to your eyes

I don't know if I can call him my friend because he was several years older than me and I don't want to call him uncle or I called him Mr. Mohan.  I met him in 2013 and lost him in 2013.  Every meeting with him was loaded with conversations and at times silence and every conversation had a take away and I always felt impatient to meet him again to have a talk.  I didn't want to cry when he died, I wanted to be strong for his family and for his son especially, who is my best friend.  But, I remember standing at a deserted side of their balcony broke down and cried loud.

16. A union that made you cry

Yet to experience such a thing

17.  Three things you can't live with out

Family, Friends, Books

18. Creative side of you:

Amateur photographer, Amateur artist but I love this side of me more than anything else.

19. The song you are hooked on to now and an evergreen song you love to listen

Unnai kaanadhu naan ingu naan ilayae... song from Vishwaroopam. "mayakum maalai pozhudhae nee po po"

20. If you have a friend/friends whose FB or google or twitter or whatever social networking status you frequently check and what was that, that held your attention

A status I enjoyed

"Today for fun I changed the wifi name from home to CBI surveillance van. All my neighbours are looking at each other with doubt"

21. Do you despise things?  Is hatred and despise worth those feelings?

I hate being better and I hate to hate anyone. I despise the feeling hatred. It is 3 AM in the morning and I had still not gone to bed.

22.  As a child, what did you enjoy the most?  As a child what your kids enjoy the most?

As a child, I enjoyed good food and as a Child my son enjoys good food.

23.  Your favourite colour

At present Red, the blinding blood red. I bought one red sari but planning to buy another one, a plain red chiffon.

24.  When you drive, what do you usually observe.? (for Eg:  I have the practice of counting the registration nos of the vehicles that crosses me, I don't know why I count but I try to count all the digits twice, first time in order, second time in the quickest way possible (shortcuts).  I don't have any idea why I do that, but that's become an habit.  Here in India, the reg nos comprises of nos and not much alphabets.) 

I don't drive but pillion ride most of the times or commute as a passenger in a car, train or bus.  As I already mentioned, I have the habit of counting the vehicle registration nos. First time in order, the next a shortcut and see how quick i was totalling the nos.

25.  There are people who indulge on buying spree or eating spree, when they are depressed.  How do you handle depressing moments of your life?

I buy things, depending on budget and somehow don't end up using them, as they always reminds me of the depressing moment.  I am cutting this habit down slowly. 

Usha Sreeram, my lovely sister, my best friend, my counsellor at difficult times.  Her patience is something I admire the most and that which infuriates me at times.  No other person can even try to be Usha.  She is unique and who lives to help others and care less about her. A straight forward person. She lives in Madurai and a willing guide who waits patiently till the battery of my DSLR gets exhausted.  Does she complain? No never!  At times I used to wonder if she's an incarnation of Mother India.  There are times when I get so damn annoyed at her behaving like a martyr.  But, that's her nature and being good is not a vice ain't it? 


From Usha:


 1. 5 facts about you:

1. Patience
2. Compatible
3. Any work take to completion


2. Where do you live?  What is so special about this place? What you dislike about this place and you believe the situation can change and any ideas to bring about the change?

Madurai..... meenakshi tempke, jasmine, jigarthanda........Badly maintained roads , poor sanitary conditions. Change is only in the hands of each individual. Awareness of cleanliness amongst the locals.

3.  Your favourite time of your day and why?

Night after 9 PM. Because, I will finish all my household chores.  My time :)

4.  Your preferred genre in music?

Light music

5. The profession you are in and your wishful profession or same?  If yes, the happiness and challenges in your profession.

Home maker.  I was a research trainee at SERC before my wedding and that I would like to quote for wishful profession, the thought of what if I had continued always haunts me.  But,  I love taking care of my family, it's has become a full time occasion for the past 25 years and I don't regret it.

6.  Mom's unconditional love is universal.  Can you explore what as a mom you do and as a mom your mother did for you.. are there changes? 

I gave my children good education and taught them good manners and discipline . (I know every mother will do this) and my mother too gave me a good education and been an inspiration to take my life one day at a time and enjoy every day and live as if it is new.

7.  When you look at the mirror and look at yourself, do you smile at yourself and pat your back about the way you turned out or are there any misgivings?  

Yes, definitely I appreciate myself . I never used to be this flexible before.  Doing household work. I changed a lot after I got married. But patience is considered nowadays as a negative point and I am chided by everyone, including you for being over patient.

8.  The places you travelled and the immediate things that comes to your mind, when you think of that place.  Can you list it out for me?

  1.  Kannya kumari the tricolorsand and Vivekanada rock.
  2. Munnar. The hill view and beautiful landscape.  
  3. Saibaba temple at Shirdi
9.  The place you would love to visit and so far not visited.

Calcutta the view of the Ganges rushing under the bridge. I don't remember the name of the bridge though.  I like to visit himalayas. That silence and peace is amazing.

 10. Ever had an adventure?  It need not be rock climbing or free fall.  An exciting experience, where your adrenaline raced, it can be a roller coaster ride or a swim in an ocean or racing your car on highways.

Not answered

11.  As a child where you a naughty,pranky kid or sweet and considerate.  The most wicked thing you did to your siblings or the nicest?

Not answered

12.  How do you feel when you see your country flag hoisted and the national anthem sung?  

A kind proud feeling can't explain why.

13.  Things that you feel should change in India with regards to joint family.

All the women mentality should change not men. Then joint family will be a bliss.

14. A memory you cherish and that can be shared

When my brother for the first time in our family went to German. (From Viji: Even I remember Ravi leaving for German.  Unlike these days, we were allowed to stand 100 feet away from the plane.  That was the first time I went to the airport and I remember Ravi, turning and waving to us at the last step and I can remember the airhostess standing and greeting him.  I was so excited and love the name Lufthansa and he made us see Ulasa paravaigal after he returned.... Germanin sendhaen malarae...Thamizh maganain ponae silayae.. kadhal devathai yae...kadhal naayagan paarvai kandadhum naan enai... marandhaen) 

15. A farewell that brought tears to your eyes

When my brother left for good to Canada. It still bring tears to my eyes.  Saying bye to him was the toughest thing I ever did in my life.

16. A union that made you cry

Not Answered.

17.  Three things you can't live with out

Family... family... family

18. Creative side of you:

Not answered

19. The song you are hooked on to now and an evergreen song you love to listen

Andi mazhai pozhigirathu from Raja parvai, panni vizhum malarvanam from Ninaivelam Nithya)

20. If you have a friend/friends whose FB or google or twitter or whatever social networking status you frequently check and what was that, that held your attention

Not answered.

21. Do you despise things?  Is hatred and despise worth those feelings?

Not answered

22.  As a child, what did you enjoy the most?  As a child what your kids enjoy the most?

Me playing games outside as a child and my children loves playing games inside...why no physical activity???????

23.  Your favourite colour

White

24.  When you drive, what do you usually observe.? (for Eg:  I have the practice of counting the registration nos of the vehicles that crosses me, I don't know why I count but I try to count all the digits twice, first time in order, second time in the quickest way possible (shortcuts).  I don't have any idea why I do that, but that's become an habit.  Here in India, the reg nos comprises of nos and not much alphabets.) 

Not answered

25.  There are people who indulge on buying spree or eating spree, when they are depressed.  How do you handle depressing moments of your life?

 I used to cry for sometime then go through lot of motivational sayings  and do prayer.and finally chatting with my best well wisher . Thank god forgiving me all these in my hard times (correct srimathi?) (From Viji:  Yes, Usha and usha calls me Srimathi, I am called by that name at home.)
Priya Ranganthan, a girl who loves to have tete a tete with volvo buses and not to afraid to give them a dent or two.  A lovely girl, a brand new mother and a tech geek.  Multi talented, who can sketch, knit, make jewellery and look after her baby... She knitted me a gift and I was so happy to receive it and treasure it :D

 Some of Priya's artifacts:

From Priya:


1. 5 facts about you:

1. Cry baby
2. Take the longest way to explain things (even had a nickname Epriya during my college days)
3. Tomboy (most of my team would agree e.g climbing to top of waterfall & clicking pics like guys do while girls play water splash in stream down..)

2. Where do you live?  What is so special about this place? What you dislike about this place and you believe the situation can change and any ideas to bring about the change?

Bengaluru. Like the climate less hotter than Chennai. This climate makes me lazy I wake up only at 8 in the morning, it makes my skin dry.

3.  Your favourite time of your day and why?

Evening, love the soothing sun & chirping birds (i never see/hear them in the mornings he he...)

4.  Your preferred genre in music?

Romantic melody & kpop

5. The profession you are in and your wishful profession or same?  If yes, the happiness and challenges in your profession.

 Home maker, Love it but sometimes wish i get some time to rest my legs.. was crazy workaholic & loved it to the core.. I don't think i will get that again :(

6.  Mom's unconditional love is universal.  Can you explore what as a mom you do and as a mom your mother did for you.. are there changes? 

 I plan to keep my calm when handling the kid, instead of losing temper and yelling plan to talk to him & make him understand what he did wrong that way he doesn't do it again.. (I lose my temper easily so this is a very big task in hand. Try & learn more food items (wraps, fries etc) to keep my kid away from those junk food..

7.  When you look at the mirror and look at yourself, do you smile at yourself and pat your back about the way you turned out or are there any misgivings?  

Its mixed reaction sometimes its smile & other times its frown

8.  The places you travelled and the immediate things that comes to your mind, when you think of that place.  Can you list it out for me?

 Lonavala & Mahaballeshwar - Mist, greenery & breeze
Elephanta caves - Wow! wonder how they made all those sculptures & why did they have to make us climb all those stairs to see them.. (from Viji: the height is less than thiruneermalai and love those sculptures, they are look alikes of Ajanta and Ellora but there are traces of Pallava's art too)

9.  The place you would love to visit and so far not visited.

 Ajantha & Ellora caves - heard abt them want to see in person.
Any place that snows, want to make snowmen.. stick a carrot for his nose :D

 10. Ever had an adventure?  It need not be rock climbing or free fall.  An exciting experience, where your adrenaline raced, it can be a roller coaster ride or a swim in an ocean or racing your car on highways.

 This isn't big but its an adventure for a girl.. I climbed to the top of a small waterfall.. it was little risky i'm scared of water and I got jealous seeing my team mates click pics on the top so decided i'm going there; if they can I can too.. I did do it.. team encouraged & helped me.. they were worried that i might break my nose again doing it.. got a picture of me too..

11.  As a child where you a naughty,pranky kid or sweet and considerate.  The most wicked thing you did to your siblings or the nicest?

 I was very good kid that's what everybody tells me. I always end up taking blame/beaten for things my siblings does... such a nice kid..

12.  How do you feel when you see your country flag hoisted and the national anthem sung?  

I get goosebumps & have few tears tickling in my eyes.. 

13.  Things that you feel should change in India with regards to joint family.

 Give respect & take respect, value people and their hearts instead of money

14. A memory you cherish and that can be shared

Not answered

15. A farewell that brought tears to your eyes

 Farewell to Aspire friends & team was the toughtest..

16. A union that made you cry

Not Answered.

17.  Three things you can't live with out

Friends & Internet

18. Creative side of you:

 Get hooked on to some hobby every month, bead jewelry is my latest craze & favorite of all..

19. The song you are hooked on to now and an evergreen song you love to listen

Not answered

20. If you have a friend/friends whose FB or google or twitter or whatever social networking status you frequently check and what was that, that held your attention

Not answered.

21. Do you despise things?  Is hatred and despise worth those feelings?

Not answered

22.  As a child, what did you enjoy the most?  As a child what your kids enjoy the most?

Not answered

23.  Your favourite colour

 Purple

24.  When you drive, what do you usually observe.? (for Eg:  I have the practice of counting the registration nos of the vehicles that crosses me, I don't know why I count but I try to count all the digits twice, first time in order, second time in the quickest way possible (shortcuts).  I don't have any idea why I do that, but that's become an habit.  Here in India, the reg nos comprises of nos and not much alphabets.) 

I look out for shops/vehicle for my name on it.. love my name :D

25.  There are people who indulge on buying spree or eating spree, when they are depressed.  How do you handle depressing moments of your life?

 Eating, i didn't realise i was doing that until somebody pointed it to me.. 

 PS from Priya: Tried to answer as many I can.. some questions were too hard for me to answer or my mind was lazy to do a rewind.. I know you have the post out already still wanted to complete & send it across.. started answering on 8th in cuddalore , finishing it today in bangalore ha ha ha..

Viji

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard. Google

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wisdom comes with experience

At one, I learnt crawling was fun. At forty one, I still feel crawling is fun #blamemykneesnotme