50 things about me; you can happily live without knowing...

Monday, February 11, 2013 Humour , milestone 4 Comments

I am a woman all my 41 years; spent 22 of that studying and ?learning things.
The rest 19 spent unlearning things that I learnt.
From being playful, to serious, to shy, to religious, to not so religious, I try to change my stance everyday. I am in a confused state and still searching for a cloak that hides me the most.
What am I? If this question means my profession, then currently I am in the midst of nothing. otherwise I take photographs...nothing extraordinary, the same way all of us click when we get a camera in our hand; but extraordinary thing is, I have a photography page in FB, in my blog, in 500 PX, in Flickr, in G+.
I also write blog posts, poetry, scribble something on a paper and call them "My sketches".
My new passion: Learning Piano.. there are times, when I feel my keyboard with all its white keys, is laughing at me; opening it's jaw wide and laugh at my silly playing...
I live in 21st century but I would have loved to have lived in any of the centuries before ours, that way I would have been history.
I have one mom, one dad, one brother, one husband, one son, in that order...
My nature is to go that extra mile to help out family, friends who are in need.
My mission, to get a person who would go that extra mile for me.
I like going places, literally. Have this wanderlust in me. My home is in my heart/mind. I carry it with me wherever I go.
My worst fears: Heights and losing people whom I care about...
Love pets but from a safe distance, but the distance is important.
Got the craziest stage fear and if forced on stage, my reactions can be, too loud, choke myself to death and others too, it's like an earthquake inside me 9.5 on Richter scale, my whole body shakes and when the world calmly watches me, my body is subjected to tsunami, my heart thrashes on those boulders inside and ready to jump out of my mouth.
People always consider me, not so serious person, who can excuse easily. Inside though am not cunning, I keep a count on every deed done against me. I truly don't know why I am keeping count, as I never fling it when I get a chance to get even. But keep those cards close to me. It helps me to assess people. I smile outward, but slowly start building the distance and eventually without them realising, I will be out and of course be miserable about it.
When I love, I love with out any conditions. I never hate... we co-exist.
When I feel bit depressed, I shop, and feel less depressed. But the dresses or whatever I buy, reminds me of the day and end up stacking them away from my view.
Babies, I love. But, baby sitting I dread. I feel the nightmare of my son's childhood days return before my eyes...
I love to sing and I am a good singer in an average, moderate way.
I love bike rides, but cannot ride one.
I fantasize a lot, fantasize about things, beyond imaginations. There are times, I break boundaries and live the way I want and have a laugh at those who think, they know who I am.
I am the way people want me. If they think, I am dumb, I am dumb. If they think I am not so dumb, I am not so dumb. If they think, I am intelligent, I try to act intelligent.
All these 41 years, Trust me! I did live every year, every day, every hour, every minute, every second.
And all these years, days, hours, minutes, seconds I lived, I derived few quotes about, life, love, friendship, relationships for whatever worth they are!
I learnt the hard way that every relationship reaches a saturation point, a sour not so attractive point and you just have two options left before you. You remain the way you are and keep moving on or done a new you, make yourself interesting and then move on!
How to identify the saturation point? The day you observe that your faults, your not so attractive physical/intellectual attributes, spoken loud. And not to forget, that you might have started the conversation, for wanting to hear what you always wanted to hear but shocked to find the truth being spelled out and as always truth hurts.
Take a deep breath and no one is stopping you to hurl faults at your partner too, provided they are true.
Love starts from heart they say, but I feel it starts from eyes and move on to other anatomies including heart.
I love my man and I love everything about him :) I believe love is 'owner of heart and tenant of mind.'(my quote) When mind asks you to vacate the place, the door to heart closes too.
I often feel that, like "Life of Pi" (the film is just an example for you to visualize), I sit in a corner of a boat on a river, with out an oar and dreaming my current life and the waking point can be a full bladder. Still in your dreams, you dream about relieving your bladder in the comforts of your bathroom and at one stage, when you can't hold anymore, you wake up to find you are still on your bed and thankful that you have not wet the bed. Life is but a dream. Precisely, that's how I feel. Maybe that's what people call life after death. Labyrinth's of lives and dreams waiting to be lived, keeps me going.
I am very sure, except for "Life of Pi", you wouldn't have understood a thing in point 30. But you can find my take on death in one of my earlier posts, "Does death opens up new avenues?"
These 41 years, I learnt that I can live without family or friends for a month/year or even more than than that. But, I learnt hard way that I can't live without my wallet, without my Debit / Credit cards, without these I would be considered a waste even among family or friends. Pardon my pessimism.
I was taught at School/College that relationships are more important, being content is good, being ambitious is vice. It was a rude shock to find when I stepped out of school, that money commands respect and being content, won't fetch you things the way being ambitious does.
You are respected for the post you hold and not for who you are. In a wedding held in 1993, I was introduced to the groom's dad as someone working at a Private Hospital. My uncle who might have had match making in his mind was shocked as well, when the groom's dad asked if I work as a Doctor. I didn't and though I was tempted to say, I work as a Reception- Secretary, (that's how I started my career), I was afraid that I would upset my uncle and kept quiet, while he till tried to sell hard. But, I did try to take revenge at a similar situation almost after two decades.
Quite recently, at another wedding I was introduced as a HR Manager(I was not a HR Manager, I was recruitment head) in an IT company, and not even a mention of my name. When I corrected this uncle-in-law of mine, giving my name and right designation, I got a "idhuku nee naandu kitu saavalam (die-will-you)" look. I left the place with a smug smile. What's wrong in expecting to be respected for what I am.
All those math formulae, chemistry equations, Physics experiments are quite idyllic and far away from reality, I don't remember using them anywhere. For punching few numbers and writing alphabets number theories and English grammar would have been sufficient, as long as I don't have the ambition to become an inventor going about discovering those sexy gadgets, I love to use.
I am a die hard optimist who look for a spark in dying ashes. I call myself fire and I am not afraid to die to give birth to a phoenix. And I love to switch characters in my tales according to my convenience :P I can underplay Phoenix's heroism and promote Fire's incandescence.
It is always easy to not believe in things than believe. When you believe in things you need to provide proof. Without proofs you don't exist. I strive to be a theist amongst my atheist friends and they ask me to prove all the time. My take on Atheism, click here.
Even our Government wants proof of existence. Income proof, Address proof, ID proof. Without any of this, you exist but you cannot prove your existence, just like God.
A film, I saw that left a great impact is, "Your name is justine".
A film, that I regretted watching is "Velayutham".
Country I love, my India. However dirty, however corrupt, I can't think of living anywhere.
Places I would love to visit, Scotland, England, Ireland, Europe, Srilanka, Australia. The US can wait. No hurry!
My best friend's question, "What if tsunami occurs again and you can't even swim..." I am replying now, the max can happen is, I might pee out of fright and with so much of water, people can never tell. :P
I wish to have my dad's skill as an artist. He sketches and paints amazing. But, am no where near it.
I wish to cook like my mom. Though I am passably good cook, I lack her interest. I can't help but watch at the way, she religiously cut vegetables, the day before, plan and cook day in day out without getting bored.
My mom's question to me. The same way you religiously login and log out of facebook everyday, several times. Kudos mom! you always win, when it comes to an argument. Aside: Escape... Thank God, she forgot the issue of me not cooking.
Trying to listen to Eminem, with the lyrics open before me. If I don't listen to Eminem or Flo Rida whistle, there is no point in me existing in this world.
I am learning really hard to understand Sheldon Cooper, it is difficult to understand his style of talking, but I kinda started to like him too. And, yes Barney of "How I met your mother" fame. Ani please read this blog post and tell me if now that I started to live instead of survive.
I swear whatever I stated above is true and if even there is an ounce of lie in it, as they say in Cambodian courts, "If I am home, let fire destroy my house for 800 reincarnations; if I am in a boat, let it sink for 800 reincarnations; when I become a ghost, let me eat bloody pus, or swim in boiling chili oil for 800 reincarnations."

Special mention: Thanks to Blacksnow for the collage...

4 Candles:

Anonymous said...

//hard way that I can't live without my wallet, without my Debit / Credit cards, without these I would be considered a waste even among family or friends. Pardon my pessimism.//

When you dont have money you are a liability. For some urgent recharge you will have bear the ugly glances and all.. So bad

February 11, 2013 at 6:04 PM