Even a fatal condition, is welcome than this nothingness...

For the past two days, my mind is clouded with meaningless thoughts.. thoughts that is making me miserable.  It's as if I am waiting for something bad to happen.

I am fine, if I am diagnoised with some fatal disease and told that I am living my last few weeks / days.  Anything is welcome to break this monotony.  Emotions are bombarding me and tears flow for no reason and going nuts not having a valid reason for being this way.

Turning to friends is not helping either, I tend to irritate them and decided to bear this cross on my own.  Even Steve Jobs biography, which I was hooked on for the past few days, ceased to excite me. My ipod played non stop in my ears, only that the song doesn't register in my mind.

This reached to the most infuriating moment today... It was around 3.45 PM and I rose from my seat and went outside to take a walk.  It was scorching hot, but cool breeze blew.  It reminded me of the walk I took on a rainy day... I can't believe it was barely a fortnight since I went on that walk.  Time flies when you have good time and drags when you are not having so good a time.

My next stop was my office parking lot. Watched Cars and bikes parked on either side, few bonsai palms and the green lawns... took few photos from my mobile... but my mood refused to lighten. Started to walk, stared at the parking lot again and proceeded to walk.  Am I searching for something that doesn't exist?

If my blog space is not taking the brunt of my burdens, who else will? But even writing doesn't help me now...

This is my 249th post... Hope I hit a better mood before writing my 250th...

Till then... mysery continues...

Lovingly,
Agony Aunt

Photo Courtesy: http://www.neilcanning.com/