Have you ever had a nightmare, which goes on and on and you wish it was a dream and pinch yourself and it actually pains inside that dream.

I had a late eveningmare, after meetings friends I reached home at 3.30 PM today.  Was reading a book, while I fell asleep.  I woke up at 7 PM with a start, my face drenched with tears.  I was angry and crying 20 minutes later, sitting on my bed.  It took sometime to understand that it was not anybody's mistake and my friend is still safe.

I got impatient to get my net connected and write about a crude dream that made me cold.  No! I am not going to bother you all with details but the underlying facts and few realisations.

Half conscious of what I was doing, messaged this friend and asked if he was alright.  Then told him not to go out and stay at home. Naturally, he was confused and asked me what happened.  I had to explain about the dream and the result of that fatal dream.  May be he laughed at me, maybe he felt I was stupid to treat a dream as reality.  After extracting a promise that he won't drive that day and spoiling all his plans, I tried to divert myself reading the book again.  But, my mind refuse to comply, it kept replaying the incident, the sounds were so clear, the cries, shouts and sobs... Hellfire and damnation!

I listed in my mind, all the demands I made, all the fights I fought and realised that may be I should treat him with more respect and with not so many demands.  I remembered the times when he used to make fun of me, pull my legs and I recalled the times when he had been so very kind and the times he had been very angry (this happens only when I provoke him).  I keep forgetting that he is after all very young and he is still in his twenties, while I expect him to behave like me.  Just because he accepted me as a friend, I made some demands and behaved at times like a merciless witch. One thing I decided today was, I will never ever fight with him.  A dream clearly showed how lonely, I would feel with out him.  The way my Husband, Son, Parents and Brother are important, he filled another part of me.  Without him, I would still be a jigsaw with a missing piece.

My love for him used to be conditional, but I know today changed me for good.

On the lighter side, there were so many flaws in that dream when I think about it.  Though it was very realistic while I was dreaming, when I think about it now, only a fool would have believed that dream. I even prayed to god that let that all be a dream and pinched myself in the dream to check if I was dreaming.

What else???? I am due for a long night without sleep, as I slept and watched a four hour long film, which went on and on and on.  And now my friend had said his good nights, I couldn't sleep and blogging at such a late hour.

I had this dream on a Saturday evening,
A lengthy dream where you were quiet..
One whole day went with out messages
Tried calling the phone and was not attended.

Called your home, to hear people cry,
I heard few things which made me ask "Why?"
I cried and cried, till my eyes went dry,
I sat at a corner, witnessing my feelings die.

People spoke and I was quiet,
Replayed the events from the day we met,
I had this pain surrounding my heart,
For once I was not worried about that at all.

My dear friend!!!

What I feel for you is quite different,
Feel like a mother for her cherished infant,
Feel like a dad for his beloved son,
Feel like a sister, treating you heaven sent.

Be it happiness, be it pain,
I feel emotions tearing my mind,
I may not be your immediate kin,
Still feel that, I am no different.