Forced Agoraphobia!

Disclaimer: This is not about the normal me! This is all about, what Viji had been through the past week.

For people who wonder, how can a person who loves to be with people and whose favorite hang out are malls, can turn out to be an Agoraphobic person.  Re-read the first part of the title.  I forced myself, rather was forced in to such a position. I can't imagine, a week away from my office, my colleagues, friends, music, reading...But I did just that.

I fell "head over heels" literally, while climbing down the staircase and hurt my neck and back. Now, my chance to visit the handsome doc staying close to my place,  its been almost 2 months since I visited him.  After 15 mts chat, my hubby got irritated with the small talk (gently reminded us about other patients waiting) and finally the Doc gave me some pills and as I was about to leave, advised me to have an X-ray just in case... and naturally he had to review the X-ray next day.

But, I never expected what a pain on the back this episode could be! I couldn't move to my right or left or lie down straight or crooked.  Half an inch, if i try to move my neck, a shock went over my spine to my head... Trust me! I am not talking about the doc here. After 3 visits and his goddamn smile, I started to loathe him. The man smiles at the most awkward moments.  I told him that it is difficult for me to eat and he smiled.... difficult for me to go to the loo and he smiled... difficult for me to read books and he smiled... difficult for me to watch TV and he smiled and told me to talk less and save energy for other things, coz it will be that way till the muscle pull rights itself out... and there! there! did I see a small smile on Sure's face?  Still it hurts, when I am writing this post, I had to stretch and yelp... It's like a brand new cardboard stiff and not so supple and am sure will break, if try to stretch a little.

Ani wanted to visit EA, which is just a stone's throw away from our house.  I yielded and sat on the bike and 50 feet away from our house, Sure's bike farted and made so much sound that people turned and looked at us. No wonder! Add 60+60+70 (in KGs) any bike would die a fast death, when it was made to carry that much of load. My husband weighs 60 Kgs and am not telling you who weighs 70... How much ever I am sick, my weight never goes down, the weighing machine always point to 69.5 or 70... (I know "Gotcha"!) and somehow we reached the mall, our bike panting for breath and sighed and heaved with relief when Sure switched the engine off.

Now getting down the bike was the most difficult thing... my legs froze, my back refused to listen and like a fool, I sat and didn't know how to get down. Ani and Sure were restless and asked what my problem was and I told them that I was trying to get down, but don't know how. Sure sighed and Ani waited, not with much patience. I slowly lifted my foot and felt perfectly alright till I raised myself from the seat. The moment I did, I bit my tongue to stop from screaming and I started to cry. There was one girl, a nice looking lad who came to my help, she gently helped me to get down from the bike.  The wonderful kid of mine was suddenly so silent and started to be very kind to me.  No wonder! the reason could be this other woman standing next to him and who does not happen to be his sis or mom.

We saw the huge Christmas tree, beautifully adorned and started to move towards the escalator, please don't ask me what happened after that.  Wherever I went, the pain gripped at me and I had to stifle the screams, which resulted as moans and there were couple of people who looked at me in a weird way, thinking what I would have thought, if I was in the same position.  I dreaded EA and wanted to go home and confine myself to my small dungeon (my room, which also is my library).  For the first time, I didn't stop to buy anything, I didn't stop even for butterscotch ice cream :( I didn't stop to look at my favorite spot, a silver jewelery, designer sari and carpet shop. I didn't enter the book shop.  First time, I couldn't enjoy the "Jingle bells... jingle all the way" music. I saw red everywhere and it struck me, why so much of red for Christmas?  Why can't it be any other colour?  My forced Agoraphobia should be the reason.

I know long post... but, can't help but moan with pain while typing this post!

Do I see red?

I am done... I am done...

Just one question! No! make it two....Was Jingle bells originally written for Thanksgiving? Can you get to hear this music in the United Kingdom?

Good night folks and Merry Christmas to you all !