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Wednesday, May 27, 2009
My thoughts are with you
Sunny morn, I strolled along
felt the sun warming my heart.
Stopped to watch, the sea glitter
the waves dancing with vigour.
A solitary sea gull, squawking a song
a crab hopping and digging the sand
the melody heard on my morning walk
my feet swirled and flew across.
Humming a tuneless song
skipped around the rocks and palms
wrote your name in the sand
guarded it from waves and wind.
My thoughts are with you
the morning song carried you
a gentle smile playing on my lips
thought of the day we took that trip.
Heard music in a crow's caw
eyes closed listened with awe
Sitting by the window with my tea
Watching kids play hide and seek.
With a stupid smile on my face
watched the fight happened outside
the disgusting look they awarded
made me hastily draw my head.
It is fun to write
when the feelings are light
Nothing to think about
words just flow right.
crab and gulls and beach... i shd get out of this i guess :) sounds like my signature.
ReplyDeleteUmm, I like the feel of this one. However, you could polish this one.
ReplyDeleteA couple of errors made me stop. For instance -
"...dancing with shiver"
I am not quite sure about this.
"... window with a tea"
Again, not sure about this one.
Perhaps, it is the light feel that made you not run through it again. Or, it is just me (?!).
No offence meant here. But, I reckon you could work on this.
@AJ I wrote this poem in a record time... it took exactly 4 mts and the searching for the image took another 5 mts... i published it immediately... will look in to it again... thank you for your observation... be the way you are don't ever change... it's good for us :)
ReplyDeleteall these images are so filled with light and delight...
ReplyDeleteaahhaa....after so many years am reading a Solitary poem...,
ReplyDeleteRemembering Wordsworth....!!!!
@shadow, sundar thank you for the read
ReplyDelete