Ani's Birthday and Richard Lederer

My son's birthday today and I wanted to relish the moment and celebrate as he is stepping in to his teens. He is no more my baby now; a young man. Suresh and I took him out to his favourite haunt Citi Center Plaza. Ani's favourite shop is Landmark as he is always fond of looking at books and buying them and take out every now and then, dust, admire and stack them back in his library... yes of course, without reading them.


While he was browsing through his favourite authors as he calls them.... may be that author would have had the privilege of being Ani's favourite because his friend happened to find one of his book attractive. Usually Ani's pick would be Archies, Twinkle, Tintin. At the maximum it could stretch to Hardy Boys.... I never say NO to books as I strongly believe that if not today may be in a year or two he will acquire the habit of reading and enjoy reading good books and develop the sense of not buying a book just for its cover.

As always I roamed about in the book section picked a book at random and started to read the preface and the first few pages. Today I saw a book by name " The revenge of Anguished English" by Richard Lederer. I started to read the book, time flew and I almost completed 42 pages when people at Landmark switched off the light... I realised it was late and the clock in my cell phone said it was close to 9.15 PM. Looked at the price and cursed myself for not bringing my credit card. I was short of 100 Rupees and the book costed around 459.80. I very badly wanted to complete the book. Came home and checked for an online copy but for vain. But I was able to find 95 pages picked out random from this book and I started to read greedily....




I never knew the meaning before for rip roaring laughter but experienced it today. You got to read it to believe it. It is all about how tricky English language can be. A simple "Hello" can be taken as an insult...

Just to quote a few from the book:

"A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother
against brother.

In looking at water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many Hs as Os.

More after the jump and an explanation of where they came from.

Continued:

Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. CO2 is lighter than air because leaves absorb it, and they are on top of trees.

Gravity is a pulling type thing that makes sure that the planets don't fall or hurt anything.

The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.

Copernicus's theory claimed that the sun was on the center of the earth.

Galileo showed that the earth was round and not vice versa.

Most books say the sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into the sun in the daytime.

When they broke open molecules, they found they were stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

This is just to name a few... the whole book is built up on funny incidents and thoughts, it is exteremely difficult to put the book down."

Check out this link to read more pages on this book. Rather buy a copy and read it as I am planning to do.

http://books.google.co.in/books?id=nQMFklvkqIoC&printsec=frontcover&dq=Richard+Lederer+%2B+the+revenge+of+anguished+english#PPA72,M1

To pick a few from this link..for people who are lazy to visit the link, even after reading the sample quotes.... More quotes for you guys :)

On language of signs:

• At a rail road station: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
• In a cemetery: Due to the grave-diggers’ strike. All grave digging for the duration will be done by a skeleton crew.
• On a garage: Paint your truck for the price of a car
• In an optician’s office: Contact lens patients should remember to bring their lenses with them, or will be unable to see them.
• On a North Carolina highway: Permitted Trucks Not Allowed.
• Above a dryer in a coin laundry: When the light goes on, please remove all your clothes.
• At a gym: The world’s largest women’s fitness and weight loss franchise.
• In a dressing room: Please return clothing to desk. Don’t hang yourself.
• On a dry cleaner’s: Drop your pants and skirts here, and you will receive prompt attention.
• On a bookstore: Rare, out-of-print and nonexistent books
• In a restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.
• In an office: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

hmmm... that's what the good book is supposed to do. Make you rush to the nearest shop and not feel rested till you get the book in your hands. I am waiting too.... with due regards to my son, without whom I would have missed the book. How many good books are waiting patiently in those book racks to be touched, read and pampered?